When the only tool in the house you recognize is yourself
In the latest Bald Truth, Steve Crescenzo accepts the fact that he’s not a handyman. He’d rather carry a spatula than a tool.
The hazards of public speaking
When you speak professionally for a living, you get used to shit going wrong. The AV never works perfectly. You’re told you have an hour, but…
Snip snip here. . .snip snip there . . . and a bloody whole lot of pain!
The other day, a good friend of mine told me he was getting a vasectomy. He knows I had one years ago, and he wanted my…
Putting the “ass” in a Catholic Mass
The best thing I can say about growing up Catholic is that at least I never got diddled by a priest. I have nothing but bad…
Muggers, drugs and hookers in Lisbon
Cindy and I once rolled into Lisbon after a four-day bender in Barcelona, followed by a two-day recovery at a beautiful house on the Portugal coast.…
If you think your job is hard, try pulling a fatass around in a pedicab
I am a fat man. Not grossly fat. Not sloppy fat. Not obese. I’m not Michael Moore, or Chris Christie before he had that surgery that…
An American Idiot in Copenhagen
My wife and I have traveled all over the world together. Dozens of countries on five continents. And wherever we go, whatever we do, I always…
‘Like a shitfaced Fred Flintstone’
Well, I managed to make a fool of myself again. Two nights ago, Cindy and I were sitting at a steakhouse in Arizona (where I had…